Dear Fututre Baby,
You don't exist yet. Nowhere near it. Right now you're just a theoretical thought that hasn't even fully formed yet.
I haven't met your dad yet but i hope he's amazing. I hope we are worthy of you.
I just wanted to take a minute to promise you a few things.
I will make you happy.
I will make sure that you always want to come home, to bring your friends over.
I will teach you what sarcasm is as a type of humor, not a coping mechanism.
I will show you what arguing with a loved one is supposed to look like, sometimes very angry but always with an undercurrent of love.
I will show you what healthy love looks like.
I will accept you, no matter what you choose to do with yourself, as long as you stay safe.
I will cherish your visits and hugs and love and not waste it over ego and self pity.
I will not take the love you show me for granted.
You will not be my therapist.
I will always talk to you about your interests, and learn to know you as the independant person I know you will become.
I will learn new things.
I will be honest with you.
You won't stare at me with pity in your eyes.
You won't question my friendships.
I won't be isolated.
I won't isolate you.
I won't let you feel so lonely.
You won't scroll through your phone and realise you have no one to talk to because talking to them would mean admitting that something's wrong.
You will be able to talk to me when something is wrong.
You won't feel the need to lie every single week so that everyone thinks everything is perfect.
You'll know that having fancy things or going fancy places has nothing to do with being happy.
I love you.
You are so so beautiful.
And you don't fucking deserve this.
And one day you're going to look in the mirror and feel acceptance and so much love for this Thing that you are. This kind, accepting, Thing that still lets herself love people and trust them even though she knows the risks, has felt the damage first hand. you're so fucking brave and strong and worth it.
Every second, every piece of absolute shit they throw at you, I know you can handle it. And I know that in the end, it'll be worth it. And you will build yourself an amazing life.
And be happy.
I know that's all you want.
I love you.
I wonder if my parents thought these things too, Before.