Spend my days locked in a haze, trying to forget you
my senior year has finally started, and it's honestly hard to tell if I like it or not. I like the fact that it's finally my lastthe year in this hell called high school but I'm so scared of everything that's about to happen. Provincial exams? Scare te shit out of me. I'm confused. I am always confused and don't know what to do to be happy. I just don't know what makes me happy anymore and I feel like there's nothing that gets me going except the fact that I have to get up and go. I feel like I need a change, maybe get some new friends even though I'm happy with mine but it makes me question myself once in a while. I love my friends don't get me wrong but sometimes it just doesn't feel right?! I keep comparing everything to my life in Israel and I wouldn't lie and say that my life is worse here, it's actually better but I just don't seem to be whole most of the time. And I might be talking bullshit right now because today has been rough but I just feel like something is not right. My Job is about to end in just two weeks and I'm yet to find another one, I feel like my life has been going down hill lately. I feel so lonely yet I'm so surrounded by so many loving people but I just don't know what to do with myself. Don't know when I'll feel like I'm enough, I want someone to truly care and be here for me, that's all I'm really asking for.