Dear S. ,
I decided to write to you an
ongoing letter during this trip - or at least whenever there will be time and
anything to share.
Naturally, I am writing now during
the flight to Berlin, which is the perfect time to report. I and my boyfriend
received separate seats – he is sitting four rows behind me – which is really
"lo nora" (לא נורא). We checked if people sitting next to us
might be travelling alone, so that we could possibly switch places, but there
were only couples. Anyway, there is a nice couple next to me. The woman gave me
her breakfast, which really made me happy, as it is the first time I ever
enjoyed airline food to such extent – a nice, thick omelet (I bet it contains
cheese) and a potato cutlet, devoured passionately. In the seat in front of
me sits a girl who had a kind of a panic attack during takeoff. It was weird
for me to be relatively calm, considering my anxious nature. The airline
company is Germania, and there is one steward who is candy for the eye
Oh, dawn is breaking now!
Suddenly the sky has turned from
black to greyish-azure-yellowish… it's 5:50 a.m.
I hope I wasn't too obsessive when I
elaborated so lengthily in my last email regarding my concerns about cleaning. I
am officially a distinguished "choferet" (חופרת), I guess
A few days later, one day before
returning back to Israel.
I am all "atsbanit" (עצבנית), nervous and stressed.
My first nervous breakdown was in the first morning, Thursday morning. I woke
up with a cold. Afterwards came a few days with lots of sightseeing and places
to go, museums and cafés. But today came my second nervous breakdown because of
both the accumulation of things which pissed me off and the fact that today
wasn't properly planned, and hence there is a feeling of waste and wandering
aimlessly, not knowing what to do and where to go and not being able to decide.
Everything is so elusive. Time flies,
and I feel I hardly keep the pace with what is to be done and seen. Waste,
waste, waste. Waste and exposed, fragile nerves… I am not a pleasant company. Something
is always lost.