I've lost the abillity to write in Hebrew. I open a new document and I find myself staring at the blank page. Once pressing the combination of Alt and Shift the words start floating. It's not me trying to be American, British or whatever floats your boat. It's me trying to find a way of getting myself back together. Because after years of not using this blog, it just feels like I've taken a mile backwords in my life, and I just won't put through this shit. Not again, ayways.
Smiles start to seem rarer and rarer.
Laughter starts to sound like a sound made by mistake.
Thinking has become shallow.
Abilities are getting fewer and fewer.
Speaking seems unnecessary.
Listening is becoming something you just cannot do.
You are losing your own language, words are getting forgotten –
"what's the Hebrew word for that?"
Eyes are scary again,
they belong to those who earned them.
Friendships are not forever.
Love is not around the corner.
You will never go places you've never been.
Adventures are a new kind of fairy tale.
Masks are a girl's best friend –
and once you wear them you cannot get them off.
It's stuck, and it's for two years.